Relationships have the power to be positive or negative forces in our lives-depending on the quality of the relationship. Positive family relationships have been described as being "stress absorbing systems". However, positive family relationships require work. It is a myth that people are born knowing how to have a good relationship, and it is another myth that those who are not happy in their relationships have somehow failed.

Latest findings indicate that all relationships need attention to be happy and productive. Indeed, in all relationships it is important to focus on and practice specific behaviours that foster positive feelings.

Learn to be more loving

It is reality that you cannot change another's behaviour, but you can focus on and change your own for better results. In fact, changing your behaviour will disrupt the normal pattern in the family and could create positive results. Try it out.

Expectations and Reality

You need to take care of your own needs in addition to your partner's needs. The counsellors explain the need for realistic expectations, good communication, and respect for each other as essentials of a good relationship.

Know your Partner's Love Language

Often in relationships, each partner expresses love and interprets love in distinct ways. The identified five love languages that couples use to communicate their feelings are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important-hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.

Quality Time

Nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there-with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby-makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

The love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift matters a lot. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous-so would the absence of everyday gestures.